Myth Busters: Common Misconceptions About ADHD in Women
When people think about ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), they often envision a young, hyperactive little boy struggling bouncing off the walls in a classroom. This stereotype has persisted for years, but when it comes to ADHD, it isn’t the full picture. ADHD affects women just as often as men, yet it frequently goes undiagnosed, misunderstood, or dismissed. ADHD in women and girls often presents differently, and because of these differences, many females with ADHD face a unique set of challenges.
In this article, I’m going to explore some of the most common misconceptions about ADHD in women and discuss how these myths impact diagnosis, treatment, and our daily life.
1. "ADHD is a Male Disorder"
ADHD has historically been seen as a "boy’s problem." Boys are more likely to show hyperactive and impulsive symptoms, which are hard to miss in the classroom. Boys may be seen as disruptive to the class because of their behavior, and as a result, teachers are often more likely to flag this as a concern. However, many girls with ADHD display symptoms of inattentiveness rather than hyperactivity. This means they might be daydreaming, disorganized, or struggling with focus, but because they’re not disruptive, their struggles are often overlooked. Those individuals with ADHD, Inattentive Type, are less likely to cause problems for the people around them, but in actuality, they may be off task just as frequently as those who are hyperactive.
The reality: ADHD affects both men and women. However, due to this misconception, many women go undiagnosed until adulthood when they seek help for other mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, or burnout. Sound familiar?
2. "ADHD Always Means Hyperactivity”
When people hear ADHD, they often associate it with being hyperactive. While hyperactivity is a key symptom, especially in children, many women with ADHD are not outwardly hyperactive. Instead, they may have the inattentive subtype of ADHD, which is marked by issues like forgetfulness, lack of focus, and being easily distracted.
The reality: ADHD in women often manifests as internal struggles, such as difficulty staying organized, forgetfulness, and chronic procrastination. These less visible symptoms can lead to years of misunderstanding and feelings of inadequacy. This is why women with underlying ADHD may present to a therapist with feelings of depression or anxiety, after years of trying and being unable to keep up life.
3. "ADHD is Just Emotional or Hormonal"
Women with ADHD are often dismissed as being "overly emotional" or "hormonal," particularly when they struggle with emotional regulation. This happens because ADHD affects the brain’s ability to manage emotions, leading to mood swings, frustration, and heightened sensitivity.
The reality: Emotional dysregulation is a key component of ADHD. Women with ADHD may struggle with impulsive reactions or intense emotions, which are often misinterpreted as unrelated to the disorder. And the fact is, anyone with ADHD, male or female can have difficulty regulating their emotions.
4. "Women with ADHD Just Need to Be More Organized"
There’s an annoying myth that women with ADHD just need to try harder, use better time management techniques, or be more disciplined. This oversimplification ignores the fact that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts executive functioning skills like organization, planning, and prioritizing.
The reality: Ask any women with ADHD, and she will tell you this– women with ADHD are often working twice as hard to manage basic tasks. ADHD isn’t a matter of laziness or lack of willpower — it’s about brain chemistry, the unique challenges it presents, and the need to develop executive function skills..
5. "If You Did Well in School, You Can't Have ADHD"
Many women are shocked to be diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, particularly if they did well academically. However, academic success doesn’t rule out ADHD. Many women with ADHD develop coping mechanisms, such as working long hours, using perfectionism as a crutch, or relying on external structure provided by school systems. I’m a perfect example of this! I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year, well into my forties. Historically, I was a successful (enough) in college, grad school, and later in my post-graduate jobs as a social worker. Having my own private practice and being my own boss was exciting, but I found that there were so many great ideas and new things to do, that I had difficulty staying on-task and following through.
The reality: Women with ADHD may excel in structured environments, but the disorder can still create significant challenges in areas like time management, maintaining relationships, and managing everyday life tasks, especially when life is unstructured.
6. ADHD is Just an Excuse for Being Disorganized or Lazy"
This misconception is harmful and dismissive of the real struggles of people with ADHD. Women with ADHD are often working hard to keep their lives in order but may still struggle due to the executive functioning challenges the disorder presents. When there is executive dysfunction, people with ADHD have trouble with planning, organizing, scheduling, and completing tasks, and as a result, they may appear disorganized or lazy.
The reality: ADHD makes everyday tasks like staying organized, managing time, and keeping up with responsibilities more difficult. It’s not a character flaw or a sign of laziness, but a legitimate neurological condition. The good news is that there are many strategies to help build and reinforce executive function skills.
7. "ADHD is Something You Outgrow"
A common myth is that ADHD only affects children and somehow disappears in adulthood. While symptoms may change or lessen with age, ADHD doesn’t go away. Many women first receive their diagnosis in adulthood, after years of struggling without understanding why.
The reality: ADHD is a lifelong condition. Many women don’t realize they have ADHD until the demands of adulthood — career, relationships, motherhood — reveal the full extent of their challenges. But you are not alone! There are many women diagnosed in adulthood!
8. "Medication Alone Can Fix ADHD"
While medication can be an effective tool in managing ADHD symptoms, it’s not a cure. Women with ADHD often need a combination of treatments, including therapy, coaching, lifestyle adjustments, and support systems to fully manage their condition.
The reality: Managing ADHD requires a holistic approach, addressing both the emotional and practical challenges women face. Taking care of your mind and body through exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness, helps to manage both the physical and emotional effects of ADHD.
9. "ADHD Doesn't Impact Emotions"
Many people believe ADHD is purely about focus and attention. However, emotional regulation is a major challenge for women with ADHD. They may experience intense emotional reactions, have difficulty managing stress, and feel heightened sensitivity to criticism or rejection.
The reality: Emotional challenges are a key component of ADHD, affecting everything from relationships with partners, friends, and colleagues, to self-esteem and finances.
10. "Successful Women Can't Have ADHD"
One of the biggest falsehoods is that if you’re successful, you can’t possibly have ADHD. However, many successful women have ADHD and may still struggle with significant challenges behind the scenes. Success in certain areas (like work) doesn’t negate the difficulties in others (like relationships, household management, or personal care).
The reality: Many women with ADHD are high-achievers who have learned to compensate in some areas but still face daily struggles with their ADHD symptoms.
Understanding ADHD in women requires breaking through these common misconceptions. ADHD is not a male-only disorder, and it doesn’t always present with hyperactivity or outward signs. One of the biggest barriers for women with ADHD is that they often face years of misunderstanding and misdiagnosis, which can contribute to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and frustration. By shining a light on the realities of ADHD in women, we can start to create a reality where there is more support and information available, so we can all thrive.
If you suspect that you or someone you know may have ADHD, I encourage you to reach out for professional support. If you’re an adult woman who worries about your emotions, feels overwhelmed or out of control, or has trouble starting or completing tasks, navigate here for more information about my ADHD & You Group. This group will help you feel more in control of your emotions, learn strategies to manage daily tasks, and access a supportive community.
Questions? I’d love to hear from you. Send me an email at tricia@triciajohnsonwellness.com
