Master Your Calm: Self-Regulation for Stress & Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, stress and anxiety can feel overwhelming. Whether you’re dealing with work pressures, relationship challenges, or simply the weight of day-to-day responsibilities, knowing how to regulate your nervous system is essential for maintaining emotional well-being.

Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions, thoughts, and physiological responses in a way that promotes balance and resilience. When your nervous system is dysregulated, you might have racing thoughts, a rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, or even difficulty concentrating. The good news? You can learn to calm your body and mind with some simple and effective strategies.

1. Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which gives your body a signal that it’s safe to relax. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique:

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.

• Hold the breath for 7 seconds.

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.

Repeat this cycle for a few minutes to reduce stress and restore a sense of calm.  You can easily do this sitting in traffic, while waiting in a long line, in between Zoom calls, during an argument, or any other time you’re feeling emotionally heightened.  The good news is that no one around you will even know that you’re doing it, but you will benefit from the results!

2. Engage in Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

PMR helps release tension by systematically tensing and relaxing different muscle groups. Start at your feet and work your way up to your head, tensing each muscle for about 5 seconds before releasing. This practice helps shift your nervous system from a state of stress to relaxation.

Here’s a great PMR from Insight Timer (a free meditation app and website). Click HERE!

3. Use Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques help bring you back to the present moment and away from anxious thoughts. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple yet powerful method:

• Name 5 things you see.

• Identify 4 things you can touch.

• Acknowledge 3 things you hear.

• Notice 2 things you can smell.

• Recognize 1 thing you can taste.

This exercise engages your senses, helping you stay anchored in the present.

4. Try Cold Exposure or Temperature Shifts

Sudden temperature changes can help regulate your nervous system by shifting your focus to physical sensations. Splashing cold water on your face, holding an ice pack, or stepping outside into fresh air can interrupt anxious thought patterns and bring immediate relief.

5. Move Your Body

Physical movement helps release built-up stress and balances cortisol levels. Consider:

• A short walk outside

• Stretching or yoga

• Having a dance party to your favorite song

• Light strength training

Even small movements can have a big impact on regulating your nervous system.

6. Use Soothing Touch

Self-touch can be incredibly grounding. Try:

• Placing your hand over your heart and taking deep breaths.

• Giving yourself a gentle arm or shoulder massage.

• Hugging a pillow or wrapping yourself in a blanket.

These small gestures signal safety and comfort to your nervous system.

7. Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness practices help train your brain to stay present and reduce overactivation of the nervous system. Simple ways to incorporate mindfulness include:

• Focusing on your breath for a few minutes.

• Observing your surroundings without judgment.

• Practicing guided meditation through a free app like Insight Timer or my favorite app for meditation is Unplug. Click HERE for a FREE 30-day trial!

8. Use Aromatherapy

Certain scents have a calming effect on the nervous system. Essential oils such as lavender, chamomile, and frankincense can be diffused, applied to pulse points, or inhaled directly for relaxation. 

If essential oils aren’t your thing, you can also pick your favorite scent and enjoy that in a lotion or a candle.

9. Connect with Safe and Supportive People

Human connection is a powerful regulator. Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can help validate your emotions and provide comfort. If in-person connection isn’t possible, even a quick text or phone call can make a difference. 

Don’t have a therapist but curious to learn more about what therapy is all about?  Schedule a consultation with me, and we’ll see if working together is a good fit!

10. Nourish Your Body

What you eat and drink impacts your nervous system. To support regulation:

• Stay hydrated.

• Eat balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and complex carbs.

• Reduce caffeine and other stimulants if they contribute to anxiety.

• Drink decaffeinated/ herbal teas.

Final Thoughts

Self-regulation is a skill that takes practice, but with consistent attention, you can train your nervous system to respond to stress in a healthier way. Experiment with these ideas and see which ones resonate with you the most.

If you find yourself struggling with anxiety or chronic stress, therapy can be a valuable tool to learn deeper self-regulation strategies. As a therapist specializing in ADHD and anxiety, I help clients build personalized approaches to emotional balance and resilience.

Ready to take the next step? Schedule a consultation today to start feeling more in control of your emotions and well-being.